It’s about 10 minutes before he’s supposed to arrive and instead of anticipating the evening, I’m nauseous. My palms are sweaty, I’ve stared at myself in the mirror so long my eyes are beginning to cross and I’m actually planning who to use as my scapegoat in case things go wrong. This is typical behavior for me when it comes to the first date. Sure some call it the jitters, others may call me delirious, but when you live in LA dating can be stressful.There are roughly 89,000 more single men in Los Angeles than women. With that many more eligible bachelors, a girl should feel like a kid in a candy store. However, just like all of the restaurant and entertainment options this city serves up, it also offers various types worth avoiding; and on those occasions when I give someone a chance and decide to try a formal date, my mind runs wild of what sort of person I’ll actually be getting to know.
Someone once told me that Los Angeles was loaded with “pockets of cool”; this is undoubtedly true, but here are four guys that may make it past Date One, but should definitely never enter any girls’ “cool” zone.
Mr. Pretentious – He’s the guy every girl thinks they want from afar. He looks confident and carefree and all you could think is, he may actually be cooler than me. He teases you and compliments you, but rejects social norms and mentions his Rolex, BMW or Limited Edition lime green Chad Muska’s any chance he gets. He’s old enough to act like an adult, but somehow that slid right past him. He has more feminine qualities and lower self-esteem than Ellen Page’s character in 2007’s The Tracey Fragments. Don’t let this guy fool you, he’ll never shut up about his material possessions and he will emotionally drain you during your role as his mother.
The Gift Giver – This one is really tricky. He’s the guy who shows up with a gift every time he sees you. Sounds amazing, right? No! Erase that idea from your head. He’ll use gifts to mask his horrible personality and plant little seeds of guilt when you want to break it off with the gorgeous Peonies bouquet and shining cutlery he brought over last week. Again, this one lacks self-esteem and the understanding that you need more than a wallet to impress a real woman.
The Party Boy – The one you hate to love. You met him at a bar and you hit it off instantly, you laugh and never want the night to end. The next day when your friends ask about him, you dodge all the obvious signs that he’s not right for you by reiterating over and over that, “he’s really fun”. Unless you’re just looking for a good time, run the opposite direction. Don’t mistake his goofy, laid back, no-long-term-goal-self as a promising specimen you can mold. We can’t change men, so why waste your time trying.
The Push Over – Every girl likes a challenge, so it’s no wonder that a few dates with this guy and every single lady in the country wants to throw him to the side. He’ll do whatever you want. He’ll take your abuse. He’ll dance when you say dance. He’ll always be available and he willingly gives up all interactions with his friends. Sure he’ll be your best friend, your shopping buddy and your punching bag, but who wants a man who isn’t manly?
Written by: Crista Michelle - SpeedLA Dating Resident Blogger
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