365 Days of Different

I just cut the cord on two years of on again off again romance with someone I can confidently say is the love of my life -- to date. There's no easy way to turn our compendium of a courtship into a long story short, but suffice it to say I walked away from a situation that we both knew wasn't working. And although I didn't shut the door completely, it's not looking like it's going to reopen right away either. To put it another way, I did delete his number from my phone, although I kept it written down on good old-fashioned paper.

In contemporary courtship terms, that last sentence probably said it all. But, of course, nothing can completely convey all the thoughts and emotions that go into making -- and dealing with -- the decision to cut communication with someone who is so central to your life. It's the kind of thing that seems so simple in theory, until you wake up the next day and start to realize that there are countless little ways in which the absence of that person from your life affects you. Especially today, when odds are you and the person you're dating are digitally connected almost 24/7, it's easy to feel like losing them is more than just about losing a lover, it's about losing that constant conversational companion, that communication, that connection. All of a sudden, your phone is silent, and you're alone.

That's when everything becomes an exercise in reevaluation. Now normally, I would try to stave this stage off by simply wallowing in so much misery that eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I would literally binge on the blues, until I was so sick of it, there was nothing left to do but get up and go back to my life. Between being sad and being better, there wasn't much room for reflection. But this time, the fourth or fifth time this particular passionate affair was put out to pasture, I decided to do things differently. So I sat down, and I started to think. What can I do that will force me to learn from this experience and grow enough to maybe manage not to have to do it again? After all, you'd think I would have learned after time two or three. Clearly, my wallowing technique wasn't working as a means of making sure I didn't repeat my mistakes. It was time to try something different.

And that's when it hit me. Trying something different. It's not something I usually do. As a rule, there are few things I dislike more than being in a situation where I'm not in control. And nothing wrests the control right out of your hands quite like a strange, new situation. So, obviously, I've spent most of my life trying to avoid all things awkward and unfamiliar. But, of course, as any regular viewer of romantic comedies knows, the heroine can never move past her propensity for failed flings until she forces herself to confront her demons and - surprisingly enough - try something new.

Take the movie "Julie & Julia," which I just saw. Julie Powell felt like her life lacked purpose. So she gave herself a challenge -- spend one year cooking your way through Julia Child's cookbook, blog about it and see what happens. It worked. They made a movie about her after all.

By now, you can probably guess where this is going. I too have decided to give myself a challenge. And I too am planning to blog about it. Do I think they'll make a movie about me? Probably not. But I do think that this exercise will force me to face some of my fears, and find out some new things about myself, the life I want to live, and the love I want in it.

After all, what better time is there to do something like this than now? I'm single in Hollywood in my twenties. It's not exactly Sex & The City (Carrie's shoes alone probably wouldn't fit in my apartment), but it is that time in my life. Why not force myself to do something different with it? So here it is.

The challenge: do something different every day for the next 365 days -- the countdown starts on August 10, 2009 and ends on August 10, 2010, at which point I will be a year older and hopefully, at least a few exciting experiences wiser.

The rules: The 'something different' can be as major as making myself try the Trapeze School at the Santa Monica Pier or as minor as finding a new food to try or a weird new website to hit. No matter what, it must be something I've never done before. I'll document the whole thing in full at http://www.ranker.com/list/365-days-of-different/mollie, and I'll also put excerpts of my experiences up here, especially when they involve ways to meet new matches or making myself do something that would also make a great date idea.

I'll definitely take suggestions about strange new things to try. So long as they don't leave any permanent marks or put my clumsy ass into serious physical danger, I'm down to try it. Or at least, I'm going to force myself to be. That's the whole point after all, isn't it?

Written by: Mollie Vandor - SpeedLA Dating Resident Blogger

Looking Good!

If you haven’t already been to Zappos.com, it’s definitely a go-to site to check out when searching for that perfect first date outfit. My top three reasons to love Zappos.com are as follows: their new home page, “Zeta”, their culture, and the site’s fantastic selection of items and search/filtering system.

Home Page

“Zeta” kicks the old homepage’s butt! Instead of the old home page focus on shoes, Zeta organizes items into categories delineated by pictures and links to subcategories (ie. “Women’s Clothing” links to tops, shorts, skirts, etc.). Zeta also features a “View All Departments” click-down menu in the top left corner, as well as an alphabetical brand index across the top of the page.

The bottom of the page features “What’s New” and “Top Sellers” categories sorted by Men’s, Women’s, and Kids’, as well as a “Find What You Need Quickly” section sorted by gender, special interest, and specialty site.

The homepage also publicizes some of Zappos’ uber cool policies, such as free shipping, free returns, and free return shipping, 24/7 customer service, weekly free clothing give-aways, and Zappos’ safe shopping guarantee.

Culture

Zappos is renowned in business circles for the entrepreneurial values which led to its tremendous growth and success. Zappos’ core values include, “deliver WOW through service”, “embrace and drive change”, and “create fun and a little weirdness”, and it succeeds at all three.

The site is personal, fun, and creative, with blogs on topics ranging from snacks to movies to exercise, videos, such as “How Big is Pat’s Noggin?”, and videos of real people sharing their Zappos stories. Additional features include twitter links, community involvement projects, customer testimonials, and pictures of “furry customers” and “customers-in-training”.

Women’s Clothing

Zappos has a ridiculously specific search system. When searching for Women’s Clothing, one can narrow down by item type, popular items, or a quick search feature which searches items by style, size, width, and color. Additional means of narrowing down include searching clothing category, specialty size, brand, new and sale items, and recommended items.

If you’re looking for a perfect first-date dress, click “Dresses”, and prepare to be amazed! You can narrow your choices by dress type (A-line, empire, high waist dresses, etc.), size, color, brand, and price. Below this feature, 20 pages of dresses are shown, and may be sorted by newest, most popular, name, low price, and high price.

Once you find the dress of your dreams, Zappos provides product information, complete with a glossary of terms, as well as “Add to Favorites”, “Share This Product”, and “Tell a Friend” features. Reviews are enabled, and brand information is included. Customers may even opt to be notified by email when new styles of the brand are added to the site. Zappos also offers free overnight shipping on clothing.

Zappos.com

Written by: Lauren Blackwell - SpeedUSA Group Resident Blogger

A Lovely Guide for the LA Dater in you...

Hot off the press is the 2009 Zagat Los Angeles Dating (and Dumping) Guide. A pocket size guide with loads of goodies for the LA Dater. With chapters ranging from Where to Date, Where to Break Up, Nightlife, Sweet and Not So Sweet Stories of love or that never ending quest to find love. With Zagat you can expect the most up to date reviews on the latest, hottest spots and with this guide you can have a laugh and gain some good tips while you are at. A couple of excerpts I quite enjoyed are in the 'Jesus Get Me Out of Here' Stories;

"In the middle of an intimate moment, my so-called boyfriend said 'I don't think I can do this anymore because I'm engaged.' "

"He told me that his fetish was amputees and if something were to happen to me I would be right up there at the top of his list."

"I thought he was going to take me out for dinner, but he explained that he doesn't like to eat and only eats to survive, so we weren't going out to eat."

"We were fooling around. I went to use his bathroom, and when I came back he was at his computer checking out online dates."

You can find the Zagat Los Angeles Dating Guide at most book stores or athttp://www.zagat.com/shop/product_detail.asp?VID=0&preload=60009&prodid=731

Written by: SpeedLA Dating

A Weekend Away...Without Breaking the Bank

Alright Lads... Looking to get away with your love for the weekend? Something in town that is chic, fun and reasonable? Look no further than the Westin Bonaventure Downtown. I'm sure you have either driven by, seen pictures or watched the hundreds of movies the Bonaventure has been featured in. The Bonaventure continues to stand the test of time and does so beautifully. Being a Westin resort you're guaranteed superior service, their Signature Heavenly Bed and Heavenly Bath and a spectacular view of downtown from every room. With 24 hour room service, 42 restaurants and shops on property and state-of-the-art Westin Workout Gym, you need never leave the resort.

Now here is where the good gets better...

The Westin Bonaventure is primarily a business hotel which is incredibly convenient for a number of reasons. First off, all rooms are well equipped for all things business. DSL, fax machine and mini-bar (sorry, I had to throw that one in) are a Westin given. Secondly, prices drop drastically on the weekend. What can be a $300 dollar room during the week can be had for half that come Saturday and Sunday. Considering the price drop, do you and your love a favor and upgrade to their Tower Suite Rooms which include a seperate room, vanity and a lovely bit of extra space. All rooms have floor to ceiling windows, but the Tower Suite Rooms highlight the view best. Typically, expect to pay about $40 to $50 dollars a night over the standard room charge on the weekend, but I think you will find it well worth it when your love gushes about how you spoil her.

Lovely shops, 24 hour room service, luxury amenities and a bed that overlooks downtown? How can you say no?

Westin Bonaventure - Downtown Los Angeles

Written by: SpeedLA Dating

SpeedLA Dating Heads to The Big Apple!

SpeedLA is proud to present we are expanding to New York City! I offer you, SpeedNY Dating. Same great value, same level of service and same cheeky fun. Hiring has begun for personable enigmatic British hosts, New York City Resident Bloggers and the search is on for the very best and hottest spots in NY. After opening in San Diego, Santa Barbara and our latest expansion, Seattle, we are tickled pink to be spreading our UK fun to 'The Big Apple'.

Set to debut July 1st 2009 - http://www.speednydating.com/

Many of our clients travel often to and from New York and I look forward to any advice, New York dating tips or just to say 'Cheers'!

Always available for my daters, call on me anytime.

Love,

Anoush x

We Love LA!

The Los Angeles Lakers are the 2009 NBA Champions! Hundreds of cheeky daters took advantage of our Lakers promotion offering a Free Event if the Lakers won it all. And won it all they have.

We are super excited and grateful to be such a huge part of LA. We look forward to seeing our promotion winners and for those that missed your chance for a Free SpeedLA Dating event, I am proud to announce our Lakers Championship Summer. Purchase a ticket between now and August 31st 2009, and receive $7 off your ticket price. Enter KOBEMVP for your discount.

Cheers to the Los Angeles Lakers and we can't wait to do it all again next year!

Love,

Anoush x

Ask Anoush! All Things Dating Advice Column

Ask Anoush! Have a dating question? Need help navigating the dating world? Simply e-mail Anoush at anoush@speedladating.com with your question and she'll answer it right here.

• Cindy , Thousand Oaks
  I’ve been seeing someone for close to 9 months now and I want to do something special (not too special) for his birthday. I thought of somewhere not too far, for a 3 day weekend. Where do I go?

Hi Cindy, thank you for your question – love the small trips out of town, so much fun! Considering where you are, it will be no surprise to you that I am thinking Santa Barbara. One of my most favorite understated hotels in Santa Barbara is the Montecito Inn on Coast Village Road. It’s a beautiful boutique hotel with a wonderful restaurant and bar. They do run specials for reservations made Sunday through Thursday and it is quaint enough to not scream ‘too special’. Continental breakfast is complimentary with your reservation and all the rooms are extremely modern with HBO, DVD /CD players and high-speed internet access. Gourmet dining is available through room service. If the weather is bad by any bad stroke of luck – there are plenty of things to do within the hotel. The Montecito Inn boasts a state-of-the-art exercise room, massage therapy, heated pool, Jacuzzis and wonderful saunas. Lunch, dinner and beverage service is also available poolside. I think it’s a beautiful place to have a relaxing few days without going over the top. Take a drive up and see for yourself – Valet parking is complimentary too.

• Jackie, Reseda
  Alright, so I’ve been on three dates with this guy. I like him. Not gaga but I could get gaga. Anyway, I met his sister on the second date. No big thing just happened to be around. So on our third date, I see her again and she’s talking about her wedding. She then turns to me and says “Do you want to be my bridesmaid?” I actually started to laugh, until I realized she wasn’t kidding. I nearly passed out. Out of sheer embarrassment of the moment, I agreed! I can’t guarantee we’ll make it past date 5. What do I do?

Hi Jackie, Thank you for your question – this is a strange one! What an uncomfortable position for you to be in I must say. First things first, the only easy way to slide out of this one is to do away with the relationship. That way there are no hurt feelings – no boyfriend, no bridesmaid for sister of boyfriend right? We could write pages on why this girl has no one closer in her life or why she latched on to you (perhaps she really wants her brother to get married, now that she is making that commitment) and is forcing it a little bit) Who knows…like I said; pages! If you really feel that this relationship isn’t really going anywhere, then get out now. Why prolong something you are not that into and maybe you can slope off before the measuring tape comes out for the dresses! I would love to know how things turn out, stay in touch.

Brian, Toluca Lake
So I’ve got this girl I like. We’ve been pretty exclusive for about 5 months. This is going to sound stupid, but I hate her music. No really, I despise her music. I’m not picky on music, I like most music, but this isn’t music. It sounds like New Age – spiritual – lots of harps – type music. It’s really the only thing I don’t like about her. So Anoush – help me out!

Hi Brian, Thank you for your question, this is a delicate one! Music can be such an important part of our lives and bonding over certain songs with your other half can be quite meaningful and create lasting memories. You didn’t say if this is her exclusive music of choice or if like you, she is open to other styles. I suggest that you play certain songs to her and let her know that you really like them and see how she reacts. Perhaps she can listen to her music when you are out or doing something else and you can still then have your songs that you enjoy together. As a music lover myself, I find it very important to agree on this and I wish you the best of luck in bringing her around to your taste. On the same hand, you should make every attempt to try to like some of her choices; maybe you have not heard them all! Let me know how it goes.

• Jimmy, Los Angeles
  Where can I take out a girl in LA that will give me the most bang for my buck? As in, I have very few. Any ideas would be helpful.

Hi Jimmy, Thank you for your question, in these times it is not a rare one, so I thought it a great one to share. Contrary to popular opinion there are quite a few options for a fun time in LA that doesn’t pull too hard on the purse strings. For a daytime date I always love the idea of spending a few hours down at the Santa Monica pier. There is so much to do there and not expensive! The arcade is sure to bring out the kids in you and see each other in a more relaxed environment. If you are feeling a little romantic and want to get snuggly, grab a couple of tickets to ride the Ferris wheel. For a romantic and lovely evening out, there are a few great restaurants on Ventura in Studio City and Sherman Oaks where you can have a lovely meal without the usual LA prices. I personally love Il Tiramisu in Sherman Oaks. A romantic setting without being too intimate, Il Tiramisu offers a fantastic bar, superb authentic Italian food and very pleasant staff to boot! The food is divine and you can enjoy a great meal and a couple of drinks for around $65. Not the cheapest in town but definitely one of the best as far as value for money is concerned. Other honorable mentions are Café Bizou just up the street. Also if you are over on the Westside and fancy an inexpensive but delicious meal – check out Panini on Sunset in West Hollywood. They have the best pizza in LA!

Riding High...

Sometimes it's nice to turn down the pressure, forget the glamour (I said it!) and go on an old- fashioned simple date. I know just the place. They say the best things in life are free. Well this is almost free and undoubtedly the most fun to be had in all of Los Angeles under $10. Be it day or night, the view from the all new Pacific Wheel at Pacific Park on the Santa Monica Pier, is breathtaking. Dazzle her with the gorgeous west coast skyline at night, take in the ocean view by day or time it just right for that perfect sunset viewing.

The brand new state of the art Ferris wheel boasts an extraordinary 160,000 LED illuminating lights. This is particularly spectacular to see at night. The Ferris wheel cost $1.5 million dollars, sits 130 feet above the Pacific ocean and features 20 large gondolas to snuggle up in.

Gentleman, if you are ever stuck and don't know what to do, I highly recommend a jaunt over to Pacific Park on Santa Monica Pier. Get cozy in one of the gondolas and ride the wheel high above the ocean, into the stars. A perfect start... or finish, to any date.

http://www.pacpark.com/

Written by: SpeedLA Dating