Ask Anoush! All Things Dating Advice

Ask Anoush! Have a dating question? Need help navigating the dating world? Simply e-mail Anoush atanoush@speedladating.com with your question and she'll answer it right here.

• Molly – Santa Monica
  I’ve been seeing someone now for about 4 months. When will I know if he is the one or not?

Hi Molly,
Thank you for your question; it is a great and frequent one. I always say that there is no science to knowing when that someone becomes simply that ‘one’. People get caught up in the timing and the exact feeling. The bottom line is, when you know, you know and it shouldn’t take too long. To be honest Molly, if you’re not feeling it after 4 months, I doubt you will after 5 or 6.

• Robyn – Atwater Village
  I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months and I really like him. How do I test the waters with the talk of marriage?

Hi Robyn,
Thank you for your question; it is one I have heard quite often since moving to LA. I personally am against all talks of marriage within the first year of dating someone. The only exception would be if it were something you both obviously wanted to do and mutually discussed in unison. Otherwise, if the subject is weighing on your mind and has not been mentioned, chances are it’s not weighing on his mind. Why do you feel the need to discuss this after 2 months? I think you might be focusing prematurely on the thought of ‘marriage’ and losing sight of figuring out whether you really like the relationship you are in. If you do and everything moves along well, the rest will follow naturally.

• Jack W. Marina Del Rey
  How long do I wait before I call a woman back after a first date?

Hi Jack,
This is a love-hate question for me. I love it because it takes us all back to the playground and I hate it because I thoroughly oppose all game-playing! The simple answer is, call when you feel you want to call. Don’t over analyze what she might think. Women like attention, we like that you built up the courage to call and acted like it was nothing. Let her smile to herself and wait a few hours before she calls you back, she feels in control and you’ve made her smile without realizing it. Don’t wait!

Ask Anoush - anoush@speedladating.com

Close Encounter of the Romantic Kind...

Looking to for a truly out-of-this-world spot to share a drink and take in the sights? I offer you, Encounter @ LAX. The futuristic experience begins the minute the doors open into the funky purple-and-chrome elevator. Patrons are transported upward into the saucer-shaped bar and restaurant. Huge lava lamps and amoeba-shaped banquettes are set against a 360-degree view of airport runways and beyond.

Perched 70 feet over the runways at LAX, it provides the perfect spot to plan your next getaway and wonder what fabulous locale the next plane is from or flying off to. Happy hour runs 4pm to 7pm, Sunday through Thursday. Enjoy half-price beer, signature martinis and award-winning "California Fresh" cuisine prepared under the direction of Chef, Michel Audeon.

For those seeking stars of their own I recommend, 'The Electric Barbarella' a souped-up kamikaze, made from Absolut, triple sec, peach schnapps, OJ and lime. Although set in the center of LAX, the restaurant is surprisingly easy to get in and out of with a very reasonable valet charge of $6.

Encounter at LAX

Written by: SpeedLA Dating

A Cheeky Chic Friday!

It's our Friday Night Delights! The hottest spots in Hollywood open their doors to SpeedLA Dating for a night of cheeky fun - UK Style!

Known for his innovative and unique style, successful restaurateur and nightlife guru Mike Viscuso has created The Kress as the next Hollywood landmark. A basement level lounge offering live entertainment and dance floor; a third level banquet and event center offering food and service, live entertainment and dance floor; and finally a spectacular design-driven rooftop lounge with cabanas and a 360 degree view of Los Angeles including the legendary Hollywood sign. Join SpeedLA Dating and the fabulously fabulous, Kress Hollywood for a night of mingling and matching - Like only SpeedLA does.

The Kress Hollywood

Enter KRESS at checkout for $5 Off!

SpeedLA Dating - Los Angeles

Love and Romance...LA Style!

Sensing love on the horizon... Well, no need to look farther than the horizon from the breaktaking Surf & Sand Resort in Laguna Beach. In a relationship or tying to turn a lovely time into a relationship, then it might be time to seal the deal with a weekend away. Set the navigation for the sea and watch your 'Impress' factor soar off the charts as you pull into the Surf & Sand. Stroll in the wonderfully chic lobby and ask for the Corner Rooms in the Original Building or if you have the means, The Penthouse Corner. This building literally hangs over the water with the surf crashing below. Reserve ahead for spectacular deals on this slice of heaven or try your luck same day when the resort is out of season. Rated by Travel & Leisure as one of the World's Best Hotels - this gem is sure to set any relationship on the right course. Luxurious amenities, a private balcony and a view that never ends... is the Surf & Sand Resort.

For that special night in on the balcony a phone call to room service is the perfect start. A lovely bit of bubbly, candles set to perfection and a menu that is sure to satisfy all cravings. While we usually suggest certain dishes, we can't begin to pick our favorites. From fresh sea food to meats you can slice with a butter knife, they are all dreamy and all fabulously fabulous. So go on.. Surf's up.

Surf and Sand Resort - Laguna Beach

Written by: SpeedLA Dating

Lovely - Jubley Under the Stars...

Warm night? Check. Stars twinkling in the sky? Check. Scantily clad warm weather girl? All right, steady on. How about a casually chic hot spot in the valley with a patio out front that is sure to add romance to any date. I offer you, Cafe Bizou in Sherman Oaks. With an array of candles, perfectly set lights and the warm air abounding, it is the perfect date spot for that perfect date.

A California - French menu and full-bar allow for a cozy drink before dinner before heading outside and trying their specials. If you're extra lucky, you might be offered their out of this world Lobster Tail layered over Fettuccine. Divine and as with everything at CafeBizou, reasonably priced. Stretch the dollar a bit farther at this fine dining spot with casual dining prices. Other treats to impress the date with recommending are the Lobster Ravioli, the Chicken Breast done to perfection set over mash potatoes and the Steak Au Poivre - Ask for medium-rare like any good aristocrat.

Should you wish to name drop, ask for Ryan, their astute manager or Neal, their personable Chef-Owner who started it all.

Cafe Bizou - Sherman Oaks & Pasadena

Written by: SpeedLA Dating

365 Days of Different

I just cut the cord on two years of on again off again romance with someone I can confidently say is the love of my life -- to date. There's no easy way to turn our compendium of a courtship into a long story short, but suffice it to say I walked away from a situation that we both knew wasn't working. And although I didn't shut the door completely, it's not looking like it's going to reopen right away either. To put it another way, I did delete his number from my phone, although I kept it written down on good old-fashioned paper.

In contemporary courtship terms, that last sentence probably said it all. But, of course, nothing can completely convey all the thoughts and emotions that go into making -- and dealing with -- the decision to cut communication with someone who is so central to your life. It's the kind of thing that seems so simple in theory, until you wake up the next day and start to realize that there are countless little ways in which the absence of that person from your life affects you. Especially today, when odds are you and the person you're dating are digitally connected almost 24/7, it's easy to feel like losing them is more than just about losing a lover, it's about losing that constant conversational companion, that communication, that connection. All of a sudden, your phone is silent, and you're alone.

That's when everything becomes an exercise in reevaluation. Now normally, I would try to stave this stage off by simply wallowing in so much misery that eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I would literally binge on the blues, until I was so sick of it, there was nothing left to do but get up and go back to my life. Between being sad and being better, there wasn't much room for reflection. But this time, the fourth or fifth time this particular passionate affair was put out to pasture, I decided to do things differently. So I sat down, and I started to think. What can I do that will force me to learn from this experience and grow enough to maybe manage not to have to do it again? After all, you'd think I would have learned after time two or three. Clearly, my wallowing technique wasn't working as a means of making sure I didn't repeat my mistakes. It was time to try something different.

And that's when it hit me. Trying something different. It's not something I usually do. As a rule, there are few things I dislike more than being in a situation where I'm not in control. And nothing wrests the control right out of your hands quite like a strange, new situation. So, obviously, I've spent most of my life trying to avoid all things awkward and unfamiliar. But, of course, as any regular viewer of romantic comedies knows, the heroine can never move past her propensity for failed flings until she forces herself to confront her demons and - surprisingly enough - try something new.

Take the movie "Julie & Julia," which I just saw. Julie Powell felt like her life lacked purpose. So she gave herself a challenge -- spend one year cooking your way through Julia Child's cookbook, blog about it and see what happens. It worked. They made a movie about her after all.

By now, you can probably guess where this is going. I too have decided to give myself a challenge. And I too am planning to blog about it. Do I think they'll make a movie about me? Probably not. But I do think that this exercise will force me to face some of my fears, and find out some new things about myself, the life I want to live, and the love I want in it.

After all, what better time is there to do something like this than now? I'm single in Hollywood in my twenties. It's not exactly Sex & The City (Carrie's shoes alone probably wouldn't fit in my apartment), but it is that time in my life. Why not force myself to do something different with it? So here it is.

The challenge: do something different every day for the next 365 days -- the countdown starts on August 10, 2009 and ends on August 10, 2010, at which point I will be a year older and hopefully, at least a few exciting experiences wiser.

The rules: The 'something different' can be as major as making myself try the Trapeze School at the Santa Monica Pier or as minor as finding a new food to try or a weird new website to hit. No matter what, it must be something I've never done before. I'll document the whole thing in full at http://www.ranker.com/list/365-days-of-different/mollie, and I'll also put excerpts of my experiences up here, especially when they involve ways to meet new matches or making myself do something that would also make a great date idea.

I'll definitely take suggestions about strange new things to try. So long as they don't leave any permanent marks or put my clumsy ass into serious physical danger, I'm down to try it. Or at least, I'm going to force myself to be. That's the whole point after all, isn't it?

Written by: Mollie Vandor - SpeedLA Dating Resident Blogger

Looking Good!

If you haven’t already been to Zappos.com, it’s definitely a go-to site to check out when searching for that perfect first date outfit. My top three reasons to love Zappos.com are as follows: their new home page, “Zeta”, their culture, and the site’s fantastic selection of items and search/filtering system.

Home Page

“Zeta” kicks the old homepage’s butt! Instead of the old home page focus on shoes, Zeta organizes items into categories delineated by pictures and links to subcategories (ie. “Women’s Clothing” links to tops, shorts, skirts, etc.). Zeta also features a “View All Departments” click-down menu in the top left corner, as well as an alphabetical brand index across the top of the page.

The bottom of the page features “What’s New” and “Top Sellers” categories sorted by Men’s, Women’s, and Kids’, as well as a “Find What You Need Quickly” section sorted by gender, special interest, and specialty site.

The homepage also publicizes some of Zappos’ uber cool policies, such as free shipping, free returns, and free return shipping, 24/7 customer service, weekly free clothing give-aways, and Zappos’ safe shopping guarantee.

Culture

Zappos is renowned in business circles for the entrepreneurial values which led to its tremendous growth and success. Zappos’ core values include, “deliver WOW through service”, “embrace and drive change”, and “create fun and a little weirdness”, and it succeeds at all three.

The site is personal, fun, and creative, with blogs on topics ranging from snacks to movies to exercise, videos, such as “How Big is Pat’s Noggin?”, and videos of real people sharing their Zappos stories. Additional features include twitter links, community involvement projects, customer testimonials, and pictures of “furry customers” and “customers-in-training”.

Women’s Clothing

Zappos has a ridiculously specific search system. When searching for Women’s Clothing, one can narrow down by item type, popular items, or a quick search feature which searches items by style, size, width, and color. Additional means of narrowing down include searching clothing category, specialty size, brand, new and sale items, and recommended items.

If you’re looking for a perfect first-date dress, click “Dresses”, and prepare to be amazed! You can narrow your choices by dress type (A-line, empire, high waist dresses, etc.), size, color, brand, and price. Below this feature, 20 pages of dresses are shown, and may be sorted by newest, most popular, name, low price, and high price.

Once you find the dress of your dreams, Zappos provides product information, complete with a glossary of terms, as well as “Add to Favorites”, “Share This Product”, and “Tell a Friend” features. Reviews are enabled, and brand information is included. Customers may even opt to be notified by email when new styles of the brand are added to the site. Zappos also offers free overnight shipping on clothing.

Zappos.com

Written by: Lauren Blackwell - SpeedUSA Group Resident Blogger

A Lovely Guide for the LA Dater in you...

Hot off the press is the 2009 Zagat Los Angeles Dating (and Dumping) Guide. A pocket size guide with loads of goodies for the LA Dater. With chapters ranging from Where to Date, Where to Break Up, Nightlife, Sweet and Not So Sweet Stories of love or that never ending quest to find love. With Zagat you can expect the most up to date reviews on the latest, hottest spots and with this guide you can have a laugh and gain some good tips while you are at. A couple of excerpts I quite enjoyed are in the 'Jesus Get Me Out of Here' Stories;

"In the middle of an intimate moment, my so-called boyfriend said 'I don't think I can do this anymore because I'm engaged.' "

"He told me that his fetish was amputees and if something were to happen to me I would be right up there at the top of his list."

"I thought he was going to take me out for dinner, but he explained that he doesn't like to eat and only eats to survive, so we weren't going out to eat."

"We were fooling around. I went to use his bathroom, and when I came back he was at his computer checking out online dates."

You can find the Zagat Los Angeles Dating Guide at most book stores or athttp://www.zagat.com/shop/product_detail.asp?VID=0&preload=60009&prodid=731

Written by: SpeedLA Dating