I promise you speed dating isn’t creepy. What started as a dare has led to a slight personal fanaticism in the realm of pre-fab matchmaking. I’m not a serial dater, I don’t online date, and I rarely (if ever) go to bars to pick up a guy. Still, I found myself nervously perusing the LA speed dating institutions (SpeedLADating, fast life, cupid.com, pre-dating.com, dateanddash…) to find a service that would let me hide amongst their droves of perky singles and figure out how creepy speed dating actually is. All the young, tanned blondes with bouffants (guys love bouffants), clutching each other with one hand and cupping their drink in another in photos splashed across the sites made this kind of thing seem tolerable, almost fun. Still, I’m not blond. I don’t hit the clubs or the glitzy nightlife scene, like, ever. Was speed dating too cool for me? Will anyone actually LIKE me? Stop me if I sound like Carrie Bradshaw, but I was stewing; I was nervous and excited for the opportunity, but still felt like a total dork, a total desperate, single dork. Was I alone? Was I wrong?
After scouring the Internet I found one company that promised to accommodate my inquisitiveness: SpeedLA (or, speedLAdating, depending on the pen, the personal tattoos that they give out, or the website). They offered an intimate speed-dating environment with a genteel, British, twist. I thought: I like British People. Let’s do this.
I made a plan to go to one of their many events (and they ARE many in number). SpeedLA has specific events depending on your age, affiliation with the entertainment industry and sexual preference. I was so, so nervous.
When I got there, I was ushered into the back room of the trendy Bungalow Club. Anoush Stevenson, my gracious hostess (and the woman who had to put up with all of my cancelling and rescheduling due to pure chicken-shittedness) greeted me, and walked me to the bar. My dress was really short, and I sort of felt like I was wearing a leotard. People started drifting into the back room, nervously eyeing one another. Would there be connections tonight? A couple of men (seasoned speed-daters, I imagined) started up conversations with more of the nervous-looking girls (yes, I fell into that group). The girls seemed decidedly more attractive than the guys (though this seems to be a trend with every speed dating service, one which I still find odd). I thought, was this against the rules, pre-talking? What can I possibly talk about with all these different men? And this one, getting heady, is already trying to get out my good material (e.g. where I’m from and what I do).
Then, the game began. It works like this at Speed LA: You get seven minutes with each guy, and then you write on a card if you liked him. If they like you, Anoush sends their email to you and vice versa.
My initial nervousness soon turned into confidence. There’s something about guys listening to you, flirting with you (even if it leads to nothing) and getting a single serving of your quirky awesomeness that really makes a girl feel like hot shit. And even if the guys hated me and my coolness seemed all in my mind, I rationalized; I’d never really know it until the day later, when you get the match email. At the end of the event, I put down every guy I could and scuttled out of there.
The next day I got, according to Anoush’s proud email, 4 matches! 4! They liked me, they really liked me! I mean, I’m not hideous, but I’m not a supermodel. I’m a normal, single girl with a bit of social anxiety. Soon, she asked me to go again, and I did. I also tried some other companies, though I preferred Anoush and SpeedLA (call it first timer’s loyalty, the cute accents, I don’t know). The result of all of them was the same: I didn’t really meet anyone whom I could call boyfriend material (and I don’t think, inversely, anyone was smitten by me) but it was fun as hell. And fast. And made me feel hot. And that’s incredibly important, it seems, to find one's self attractive, in a town that makes one feel so decidedly unattractive, even inadequate.
Speed Dating more and more made me feel hotter, and though the conversations get repetitious, you start gleaning some great personal histories from the people you meet. Maybe I’ll keep doing it and will find someone I can date. Who knows? I promise, it can only help.
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